When we give birth, we may have contractions anywhere between 30 minutes to 30 hours. But, sooner or later, we give birth to these beautiful creatures and suddenly, our pains disappeared. We are left with this beautiful jewel that beholds our attentions for the rest of our lives. We are forever changed through this excruciating experience. The reward is the child, or children.
For as long as I can remember, I’ve always have too much month at the end my money. I feel like I’m in constant financial contractions with no birth in sight. And, yet the contractions continue to push stronger than ever. Sometimes, I try to remind myself that when the contractions are over, I’m going to receive this beautiful jewel. Sometimes, regardless of my positive declarations, I feel like the contractions will end up with a financial stillbirth. It is then that I feel alone and depressed. I could sleep for hours and the contractions continue to throb painfully through it all.
It is then that I cry out to my God for relief. And I am reminded that He is with me. He cares for me. He loves me. I will not be destroyed. I will not lose. I will not be disappointed as long as my hope is in Him. The contractions are there to keep my heart beating for Him. He is my God and Savior. He has promised me that when I pass through the waters, He will be with me. When I pass through the rivers they will not sweep over me. When I walk through the fire, I will not be burned (Isaiah 43:2).
Father, Your promises are true. You are faithful to all You have made. I give You glory and honor and praise. I place my hope in You. I know You hear my painful cries. I know You have not forgotten me. You are with me. You are I AM. I love You. Let these financial contractions be glorifying to You. Bless all my sisters in this world who are experiencing some kind of contractions today. Remind them that they are not alone, just as You have reminded me. In Jesus’ name I pray, Amen.
Monday, July 28, 2008
Thursday, July 17, 2008
She Speaks or Not
Okay, so everything from registration to my roommate went well. We spent the first couple of hours getting to know one another and I got comfortable with her. She was comfortable with me. We went to dinner together and listened to the opening remarks from Lysa Teukeurst. I mean, everything was cool. That is until the speech evaluation group meeting. Of course it would help if I was on time. I walked in as they were getting ready to start. Our leader looked up as I approached the circle and she was just saying, don’t be late (in general-I don’t think she was speaking to me specifically).
Then, it was time to start the speeches. One by one they all went and spoke their prepared messages. I was so taken by them that I’ve forgotten mine. My mind fluttered around wondering how to begin my speech. I finally mustered enough courage to stand up and speak, second to the last. Needless to say, I didn’t meet my expectations. Many of the constructive comments I received, I knew. I was so nervous I kept on looking at my notes. One of the comment said, I should not read my notes so much, I already knew them. It was like God speaking to me.
Even though I didn’t strike lightening with my first speech, it was not my concern because that was not the main speech. So, I concentrated on working with my five minute speech. I dashed to my room and started to work on it. I couldn’t concentrate. I practiced. And I practiced. I couldn’t even get pass the first couple of words before I made a mistake. It frustrated me so much I decided to stop practicing and start praying.
Needless to say, God gave me a new speech for Saturday. I think I did well. It didn’t matter as much as I thought it would because His message to me was not how good I in speaking my message, but how willing I was to obey Him. God really spoke to me through this conference. From many weeks before the conference to the end of the conference, God was in the midst of it all. I felt the Holy Spirit’s presence all around me and through all those present. I am glad I obeyed and went to this conference. It changed my perspective on life.
Then, it was time to start the speeches. One by one they all went and spoke their prepared messages. I was so taken by them that I’ve forgotten mine. My mind fluttered around wondering how to begin my speech. I finally mustered enough courage to stand up and speak, second to the last. Needless to say, I didn’t meet my expectations. Many of the constructive comments I received, I knew. I was so nervous I kept on looking at my notes. One of the comment said, I should not read my notes so much, I already knew them. It was like God speaking to me.
Even though I didn’t strike lightening with my first speech, it was not my concern because that was not the main speech. So, I concentrated on working with my five minute speech. I dashed to my room and started to work on it. I couldn’t concentrate. I practiced. And I practiced. I couldn’t even get pass the first couple of words before I made a mistake. It frustrated me so much I decided to stop practicing and start praying.
Needless to say, God gave me a new speech for Saturday. I think I did well. It didn’t matter as much as I thought it would because His message to me was not how good I in speaking my message, but how willing I was to obey Him. God really spoke to me through this conference. From many weeks before the conference to the end of the conference, God was in the midst of it all. I felt the Holy Spirit’s presence all around me and through all those present. I am glad I obeyed and went to this conference. It changed my perspective on life.
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