She Speaks

Wow! That’s it. Wow!

Before the Conference

My heart was restless. My thoughts were cloudy. And my confidence was shaky. All the while, I couldn’t pinpoint what was wrong with me. Surely this is weird to be so clumsy. I was late to every appointment and forgot to pick up at least one item that I went to buy at the store. No, I’m not nervous about the conference. I’m just going to go and give two speeches for evaluations. It’s no big deal. It’s not like I’ve never spoken before. So, I thought.

Then, the letter came with confirmations of my reservations and the name of my roommate. Great! You mean, I don’t get my own room? I have to share room with someone else. I hope I don’t have to share the bed too. That’ll just be too weird. Oh, God, what if the sink is in an open room and I have to brush my teeth in front of her? That will just gross her out. I am going to become a total gross out freak. What if she is prejudice against Asians and she doesn’t converse with me? Okay, girl you are freaking me out. Stop it. Stop it. Just stop it. “Lord God, please help me. I pray that the hotel will have a closed up bathroom, that there will be two beds and not one.” Oh, maybe I should pray for my roommate to like me, too. “Lord, I pray that she will like me. Oh, please protect her while she travels to the conference, wherever she’s coming from.”

I hope she’s not my next door neighbor that I just happened not to know her name. Then, if she doesn’t like me, I won’t have to face her again.


The Day of the Conference

The Enterprise driver picked me up and we went to pick up two other persons. The first person was a man, so I didn’t talk much. The next person was a woman. She had pink on. Her luggages were pink, her purse was pink and her shoes (ooops! I don’t remember). Maybe, she’s going to She Speaks, too. I turned around to ask, “so where are you heading?”

“Charleston, to see my daughter,” she said.

Shoot! Too bad. I thought you were going to the She Speaks conference. You look nice enough to maybe even carpool. Then, maybe we can share the cost instead of going in individual cars. Who knows we could’ve been good friends, but too bad. I found out she was a grandma already. So, I turned around and told her she doesn’t look old enough to be a grandma.

On my way back from the rental car, I was about half a mile home and this terrifying thought came over my head; What if you came home and your house burned down and it swept your family members. And, you have no more children and no husband? What will you do? Then, I will have a stronger story to tell, I thought with tears in my eyes. Okay, now you are a total wreck. You’re letting your imagination run wild. “You stop it. My children and husband are under the Lord’s care. He will not let it happen because you can’t handle it. He is a good God.

Finally, I arrived home and my two little girls were dramatic about my leaving and so it became annoying to watch them hung on to me like I was going to drive off the cliff and never returned. You better take some pictures just in case the house does burn down and this is the last time you see them. So, I lined them all up on my couch and took their pictures. My son was upset and didn’t want his pictures taken, so he closed his eyes. I looked at the time and it was a little before 12:00pm. Ooops! I better go. “Okay, kids, hugs and kisses! I got to go.” I opened the door to the garage and realized I have no shoes and no key. I pounded on the door and started to speak Hmong real loud to get my children to open the door.

Sorry, but you’ll just have to wait. I have to take my daughter to help distribute fliers for the VBS. But if you return tomorrow, I’ll continue.