Not by Worth

You might wonder what’s happening to me or why I didn’t blog for the last three months. You might be too busy to even come to this website. Perhaps, you didn't even know this website existed before today. But, the reason for the big gap in this blog is that I fell in the hole of "Am I worth it?". This hole was pretty deep. I felt utterly disabled to write anything worthwhile. I felt as though I am not worth it to pass on His message of Love, even though His Love is of grace and mercy. I couldn’t bring myself to put anything down, let alone bringing ideas out on the open to share with all of you.

I spent time with Him alone, asking Him to validate His choice. I wanted to make sure it wasn’t just me wanting all the prestige and honor of being His messenger. I made every excuse I could, then I said, “I know You can make the impossible possible, but I’m not sure I’m cut out for this ministry.” I was sure no one would listen to me or want to read what I wrote.

Then He took me to John 6:29, “Jesus answered, ‘The work of God is this: to believe in the one he has sent.” You see, I was not looking at His glory, I was looking at my inability. I was not focus on the task He designed for me, I was looking at my failures. I was not approaching His throne with the guidance of the Holy Spirit, I was coming to Him with utter disappointments. He simply told me to believe in the Power of Christ. My job is not to ponder on what I can or cannot do, but to believe in Jesus, and let the Holy Spirit guide me.

This Christmas, I experience a new peace that passes all understanding. Yes, I am not worth it. I will never be worth it. Yes, I don’t have it. Yes, no one will listen to me on my own. But, yes He is able and willing. And, yes people will listen when I allow Him to use my mouth and my hands to carry His good News. Yes, all that is required of me is to believe. It is not by worth that He has called me to serve Him, it is by His grace and His choice. I am privileged to be a part of His kingdom work.

Dear God, thank You for loving me passionately to send Your SON to earth. Let all your daughters experience the power of believing in the ONE You sent. Let this Christmas be a reminder of the greatest gift of all, Jesus Christ.