A woman of noble character is being refined?

“But he knows the way that I take; when he has tested me, I will come forth as gold.”
Job 23:10


I’ve worked very hard on trying to enjoy Christmas even on this interesting journey that God has put our family on, but I think last evening really showed the true nature of me. My son, Jamin and daughter, Tabitha (a second grader and kindergartener, respectively) have asked me to buy them each a book for their class Christmas exchange program. I’ve put it off for two weeks, and finally, yesterday, afternoon, my son came home from school; and as soon as he entered the front door, he said “mom, this is the last day I have to bring that book.”

“Really?” I asked. I really wished that he would’ve forgotten about it instead. Financially, it is not possible. You see, for the last several years, I’ve lost two accounts for my quilting work ( I don’t call it business because it’s not really a business, just a little work to supplement the income) and the one account that I’ve have is cutting back because she’s getting ready to retire and her biggest wholesaler is quitting. So, we are really pinching our pennies. Yes, even a dollar for a book is hard to come by. I am counting my blessings for we’re not homeless.

Anyway, I had to go to the UPS Store to send my finish quilt tops off to the shop, so I decided that I will take two dollars off of the gas envelope so my children will not have to show up without a present for exchange, but my attitude was very “sour”. I was not a happy camper. When we arrived at the UPS Store, the lady charged me more than I’ve expected it. I said, “I thought that it was cheaper to ship to a business? It normally only cost me $8+, not $9+.”

“Well, this is the cheapest price we’ve got. It might have gone up just a tat,” she said firmly.

Well, what choice do I have but to ship the package? I wanted the money to come back on time for Christmas. As you know, (if you’ve been following all of my bloggings on other people’s blogs), I’ve not bought any presents. So, I barely smiled back at the clerk when I left the store. Then, just as we were getting in the car, my children were all wondering if I was really going to take them to store.

“Mom, I thought you was going to take me to Dollar Tree?” Jamin asked.

“Mommy, and me, too. Are you going to buy a book for me, too?” Tabitha asked.

“Mommy, can I get a Christmas card for my teacher, please? I want to give her a present and I want a card to go with it. Can I please, Momma?” said Gaosoua.

“Hey, children, settle down. If I said, I’m going to take you then I’m going to take you, okay?” I said. Ohhhh, I felt awful. Where was my noble character? “Help me, God. I’m trying to stay humbled and kind. I am not going to take that bait. I am going to remain calm and cherry,” I said under my breath.

“Sorry! Just asking?” said Gaosoua. Just then, my oldest daughter, Abia, has arrived home and had called to check in, wondering where we were. I told her we were at Dollar Tree and to keep the doors locked. I parked the car in the parking lot, and everyone was trying so hard to keep mommy at peace. They were all trying to get little Elizabeth off of her car seat. I brushed Gaosoua off the car, and picked up Elizabeth. I carried her off into the store with the rest of them trailing behind.

As we approached the door, they all rushed before me, and Tabitha said, “Mommy, here’s the paper wrappers,” point at the gift wraps beside the entrance.

“We’re not buying any wrappers. We have plenty of them at home,” I said.

Then, we stopped at the card stand, and Gaosoua panicked, “mom, there’s no Christmas cards for teachers. All of these cards are for someone in the family (not her exact words).”

“Go on the other side,” I said with a moaning sigh still carrying Elizabeth on my hip and leading the way. We finally picked up two cards, one for my mom and the other for her teacher. Then, we walked to the books. They each picked a book to their liking (I tried to influence them to buy a “better” book, but of course they were determined to buy their choice of books). Finally, we’re at the check-out line, and I realized that we have no scotch tapes. “So, I’m going to have to spend more than $3. Oh, well,” I thought.

We paid for the merchandizes and left for the car. Elizabeth was just as happy as can be. And, she had nothing in her hands. She didn’t even get to walk around the store. Everyone was happy, except mommy. What was wrong with the picture? Well, basically, I only had $20, and I’ve spent $14. Now, I’m down to $6 and still need toilet tissues, napkins, and wash our clothes at the laundry mat because our washer is broken. So, I was as sour as can be, but deep down I knew that God has blessed us beyond comprehension. So, I got in the car, turned on the engine, and turned on the Christian music station.

I was determined to my noble character, so I came home with Abia waiting at the door without opening the door, of course that was her order-whenever mommy is out of the house, no one is to open the door, whatsoever, unless of course there’s a fire. The only wrong thing was she was standing at the door, so if I was a crook, I open the door, and there’s my target. Anyhow, I smiled, walked to my room, dropped my handbag on my bed and walked right out to prepare supper.

I knew in my heart that I’ve lost my “noble character” yesterday. I was so upset because I had little less than what I needed. If God was to test me yesterday, I didn’t come forth as gold. Thankfully, our Father is full of grace and mercy. He said, “See, I have refined you, though not as silver, I have tested you in this furnace of affliction.”

I know this Christmas will continue to present its challenges, but I also know that God is faithful and just and will not let me face these circumstances beyond what I cannot bear. So, the next time you feel a little less noble; remember God is still refining you as He still is refining me. In building this noble character, I’ve learned to rely on God alone because to be called a “woman of noble character,” “a woman after God’s own heart,” “a virtuous wife,” etc. only God can know and refine us well enough to come forth as gold.

Lord, I am so glad You are lord over my life. Forgive me for being so sour yesterday. Thank you for the peace of today. Help me to reflect on Your love for us this Christmas. In Jesus’ name, Amen.